Thursday, 2 February 2017

Promotional Message and Where to Order


In a time when our rights are becoming uncertain due to new political powers, I am releasing my book into the world because it is needed.  The right-wings are gaining power and too many people on our side are becoming violent, hostile and negative.  I know that it’s a challenge at times to not be like this, so here I am asking you to remain calm for a moment and read my book.

People who have read my previews have expressed that this book will help many people in the struggle to be themselves in today’s crazy world.  Yes, it’s a book on witchcraft and being gay in right-wing communities, however with an ultimate message of encouragement.  Encouragement to be yourself, let your spirit shine in positive manners and simply stopping to enjoy the small things in life.  It shows why it’s important to not stray so far left or right from the general paths in life that you’re harming yourself and others.

Whether you’re left, right, gay, lesbian, bi, straight, black, white, Christian, Muslim, Wiccan, etc.  The overall tone of this book will help you if you read with an open heart and an open mind.  Because it can be a struggle to find love in a world full of so much hatred and destruction, but in reading this book you will find that being yourself in a loving and caring way will bring abundances of happiness in your life and if enough of us share these abundances, people’s hearts will change in a world with so much fear.

So become the devil which these extremist right-wings fear, because they don’t understand the love we are capable of.  Show them the devil they fear is nothing more than people crying out for love and acceptance, and that their actions are so much more pitiful than ours.  Because they also fear that we are capable of the same love that they are and until they see it for themselves, we have so much loving to do.

I present to you, Becoming the Devil They Fear: A Gay Book of Shadows.


You can read previews from the book here.

You can order copies here.

Thursday, 12 January 2017

Embracing Sexuality



Embracing Sexuality Spell

     Note: The following spell is meant to be used in situations in which someone has a hard time making "the first move" and should only be used when you open the circle by stating that you'd only like the outcome to happen if the Divine deems it a positive outcome. 


     After midnight, the name of a person or people one desires sexually is carved on a red candle. The lights are turned off and the candle is lit. One then sits in front of the candle, with the name(s) inscribed on it facing oneself. One then focus into the candle’s flame until one obtains a trance state of mind. Then one thinks of the person(s) naked, and what it would be like to have sex with them until one feels an energetic connection between oneself and those one desires. Then one chants

     “(name), sleep with me!”

      If there is more than one person, then say the chants separately. Stay focused on the desired result and repeat the chant(s). While doing this, one takes all of one’s feelings for the person(s) one desires, and spiritually push it out of oneself into the flame. One does this until all of one’s energy is exhausted.

     The ritual is finalized by stating:

     “By the Powers of the magic within, I command that (name) comes to me in pure desire.”

     One can be more detailed as to which sexual acts one would like to perform with them. Sometimes it takes time for the end result to take place. If it never happens, the Divine may be blocking the energy from the ritual because they may see the end result as destructive to oneself or the other person. If the end result happens and happens to be destructive to either of them, there might be a lesson needed to be learned.

          Written by Ryan Willey

In likeness to:

http://www.becomealivinggod.com/spellcasting/magickal-way-inflame-sexual-desire.php






A Secret No More

     I finally came to the realization that what I was feeling for these boys in my life was far more than sexual curiosity. With having a friend who I had feelings for walk away from me and that hurting more than the breakup with my ex-girlfriend, I started to realize what my inner most natural desires were. I wanted a boy to love me back as much as I loved the other boys for whom I had fallen. However, it was rather challenging to become comfortable with that idea.

     After what I had gone through with the Christian friend I met all those years ago with whom I had sleepovers and with whom I had gone to youth groups, I figured that he would be the first person to tell, since he probably had his suspicions about me already. It made sense to me that I would tell him that I would be beginning to embrace my desires for other boys first.

     I text messaged him one night during a time I was a roommate with one of our high school friends. I told him that I needed to speak with him about something and that it was something really difficult for me to talk about. He came over shortly after.

     No longer attending church and moving out of my mother’s place was beginning to give me some clarity of self. I had been on some dating websites and had been chatting with some other gay boys. I wanted to go on dates with some of these boys, so I knew it was time to tell because I didn’t want any awkward surprise encounters while I was with these boys.

     Some of our friends were over, so we waited for things to quiet down to have our talk. Once they had left and my roommate wasn’t around, he finally brought up my text messages I sent him.

     I was having so much fun that day that it overshadowed what I originally messaged him about and I probably wouldn’t have told him what was on my mind. However he knew that it was something that was really bothering me inside so I didn’t seem to have a choice in the matter when he started bringing it up.

     It was incredibly difficult to spit out of my mouth and I started to tear up. He put his arm around me and comforted me. He reminded me of all of the years we had spent together and that I could tell him anything.

     “I…” I almost couldn’t say it. “I think I’m going to start dating guys.”

          Story continues in book (text removed)





Suicidal Home-wrecker

     It took me a while to become comfortable with dating other men. For a number of years I would go on dates and start relationships with men while I still heard the echoes of right-wing Christians in my head. I would often wonder if maybe they were right and I was making a huge mistake. I knew that the only way I was going to become comfortable with dating other men was if I took a break from Christianity which allowed me to discover other kinds of spirituality.

     I remembered my Pagan coworkers and how happily comfortable they were with their beliefs. Then I remembered how my older sister and I felt about all of our spooky moments as children. I started to see another side of myself which lay hidden because of those religious echoes in my head. It wasn’t until one day at work that I decided to claim my spirituality as Paganism.

     I realized that the more I worried about the religious echoes in my head the more I was doing harm to myself. One day I decided to attempt to wipe all of those echoes out of my head by disregarding Christianity completely. However there was a grudge that formed against Christianity altogether which became dangerous in regards to coldness in my heart. The coldness in my heart resulted in dabbling in witchcraft rather than seeking healthy spirituality.

     Love spells were one of the things I dabbled with in witchcraft due to my longings for other men. I had hope that I would find somebody who would love me back. However the grudge within me was eating away at my inner self. My experience with love at this point of my life wasn’t love at all but rather an attempt to say “fuck you” to what Christian culture did to me.

     I still had “cold feet” when I dated and the internal fight with Christianity was a hateful relationship of sorts. At times it still made me wonder if I was wrong. However, I didn’t want to admit that to myself and eventually said “fuck you” to love altogether. I lived for pure lust and sexual pleasure to the point where I was going to a gay bar every weekend.

     I cast love spells on other men who visited me frequently but although I was still curious about love, I ultimately ended up having sex with them and staying my distance. It didn’t seem to matter how the other men looked, I was just willing to do whatever to live out my inner most lustful desires. From good oral sex to bad oral sex, from good anal sex to bad anal sex, from hot boys to ugly boys, from muscle boys to fat boys, I had sex with them all and picked out regular visitors to cast love spells on when the sex was rather impressive.

          Story continues in book (text removed)





The Cult Revisited

     After I realized how I was taking advantage of other men, I tried to remember the last time I was truly happy and the truth was that I was happiest when I was a part of my old church. I returned to the church and participated in the young adults group every Sunday night. There were mostly new faces when I went back to church and a few familiar ones.

     The first evening I attended was a special evening service they had once a month for the entire church. The attendance was smaller than the Sunday morning services. The evening consisted of praise and worship music, a short sermon and a period in which people could go in front of the congregation and speak from their heart on the topic of the evening or just share a story in which “God” was moving in their lives.

     My heart started pounding during the sharing period and I knew that I had a story to tell. I approached the front and the lady who was preaching gave me the microphone.

     “Hi,” I started, “My name is Ryan.” I didn’t seem very nervous, everything was happening so naturally that I knew I was doing the right thing.

     “I used to come to this church quite often when I was younger,” I stated. “I used to help out with the youth group and helped organize the youth retreats.” People smiled as I told them I used to be a part of the church.

     “I stopped attending because I’ve been on a journey for the past few years trying to come to terms with who I am and what I truly want in life,” I explained. Some of the people listening looked puzzled.

          Story continues in book (text removed)





The Possession

     As I found myself returning to my old church and thinking that witchcraft was of “the Devil”, I had a friend who was struggling with money who had curiosity in witchcraft. He came over to my place one evening and we had supper, watched movies and visited. However he told me something that worried me.

     “Do you still live in your apartment?” I asked.

     “No,” he replied, “I’ve been sleeping on the floor of an ATM inside a bank.” I was shocked that he was homeless and automatically wanted to help.

      “Well I suppose you could sleep here rather than downtown…”

     “Really?” he exclaimed, “That would be awesome!”

     He slept on my small couch in my living area of my small one bedroom apartment. I eventually let him sleep in my bed and for a while and it wasn’t all that awkward...until one night. We went to the gay bar together and when we went home, I was very drunk and attempted to pleasure him orally. He wasn’t gay and even though he may have had a bit of curiosity towards the same-sex, he was not comfortable with what I had done.

     He started sleeping on the couch again, but eventually he didn’t seem to care about what happened. I think he just wanted to convince himself that he wasn’t attracted to the same-sex. There were, however, a few times in which I was able to get him into the mood for oral pleasure while we watched heterosexual pornography together. It was an unspoken activity of sorts between us and the only other person who knew was a male friend of ours who I would anally penetrate on occasion, among other acts.

     I started believing that “Jesus” was my savior again as the church seemed to be a safe place for me to hide from promiscuity and the negative forces that seemed to be driving me insane. As I walked back into Christianity, my friend dabbled into witchcraft like I had. He used my Ouija board and became very interested in the paranormal. He wanted to see what was on “the other side”.

     One evening a friend of ours and his sister came to visit with us and the sister brought over tarot cards. She explained that she was Pagan and I assumed that all of the “witchy stuff” wasn’t good for them. My roommate, our friend and his sister decided to wander into a graveyard that night and experiment by having a séance. I decided to stay home.


     They gathered in a circle and lit a candle of protection on a gravestone.

          Story continues in book (text removed)




     This is the final preview of my book, please purchase my book to see the remaining chapters which I will not be posting as previews on my blog.






See the 2nd hour of this blog radio interview about my book




Becoming the Devil They Fear to be released in late January or early February!

Tuesday, 10 January 2017

Uncensored Christianity


Self-Esteem Spell

     One carves “Self-Esteem” on a white candle and lights it. Then one spreads out tiger’s eye stones and stare into the flame, while imagining the flame’s light filling the stones with light. One imagines them shining and vibrating with energy and says:

     Eye of the tiger, help me gain self-esteem.
     Give me your energy, your courage and self-respect.
     A moment is taken to think positive thoughts about oneself and then place a stone in a satchel and say:
     With this stone, self-esteem will grow within me.
     I will put these stones inside the satchel,
     One by one, until all are inside.

     The ritual is closed and the bag is kept with oneself when needed. Whenever one cannot find the courage to be oneself, a stone is taken out of the satchel and its energy is absorbed for a more genuine result in awkward social settings.

     Whenever one does something that shows one’s true colours, which one can be proud of, the satchel is held in one’s hands. One quickly imagines the energy which they used to be courageously unique being powered within the bag.

         Written by Ryan Willey






Open Hearts

     I was ready to reclaim my dignity and self-respect, but what took place in this church program called “Open Hearts” made me more confused and didn’t do either of those things for me.

     During our first group visit, we were to introduce ourselves according to a list of characteristics which related to our personalities. One of them had to do with “God” and about struggling with what “God” wants for you. I mentioned that it applied to me because of being gay.

     There were also a few responsibilities that we were to follow. One of them was that we couldn’t consume alcohol or drugs during the program. I had a birthday party coming up, so I asked the two leaders about it, one male and one female.

     “How strict should we be on this no drinking rule?” I asked.

     “Why do you ask?” The male leader asked.

     “I have a birthday coming up,” I responded. “Also, I occasionally have a drink with friends and I enjoy social drinking on occasion.”

     The male leader responded, “I’ll be honest with you Ryan. I occasionally have wine during social events. I think it’s fine if you have the occasional drink as long as you don’t go overboard.”

     For my birthday my family, friends and I went to a gay bar and one of the group members was there. I went up to him to greet him.

     “Hey man!” I greeted him.

     He giggled, “Well I guess you know now.”

     “I won’t tell the others,” I said. “I don’t want to ‘out’ people.”

     “I plan on telling them,” he said. “You are so courageous Ryan. For you to come out so quickly to the group just blows my mind.”

     “Thank-you,” I replied.

     We got to know each other a little more that night and on the next meeting he told everyone that he too was gay. Out of the two men and three women in the group, not including the leaders, the two men were both gay. I had wondered if they knew and that was why he was a part of the group. He later told me, however, that no one knew. I suppose it was fate that we met because we ended up staying in contact with each other and every once in a while still see each other.

     The group wasn’t exactly a way to brainwash people like the youth retreats I had attended. However, the group was only confidential to an extent. I later found out that some of the things we had shared had been leaked to other organizers of the program and quite possibly the entire pulpit.

     It seemed to me that the pulpit had this agenda. They would show that they were sincere and caring and have group prayers in which they would ask “God” to give me the courage to offer up my sexuality to him. I went through the program, however, not giving into some of the beliefs that were shared about being gay.

     One evening during a group gathering we had the subject out on the table and the female leader brought up her theory on the subject of the biological side of having gay desires.

     “You know what I think?” She asked. “I think...

          Story continues in book (text removed)





Courage in the Name of Love

     While I was in the “Open Hearts” program I was visited by the young adults’ pastor and at one point during moments of confusion I asked him to be my mentor. I told him that I wanted to walk away from the “homosexual lifestyle” because I wanted to please “God”. He wanted me to speak about my spiritual journey as I gave up my sexuality to “God” and we went as far as planning a young adult’s night to approach the topic of homosexuality.

     We went through many passages of scripture and I was trying to believe that I could become a better person through our mentorship. However, the mentorship did not feel right to me. This was because I wasn’t being myself and I could see that unless I stopped our visits, then I would become someone that I wouldn’t like inside.

     I am the one who likes to poke fun at the fanatics and not become one. I speak from my own profound experiences and would never take someone else’s opinion over my own about my spiritual journey. I started to realize that in order to find my inner self that I would have to be more courageous for myself and for all the others who love a person of the same-sex.

     I cancelled our visits and not long before the anticipated night we had planned, he asked me, “So where are you on your journey.”

     “I simply don’t think that being gay is a sin,” I replied.

     He paused, “Well I’m still going to have it as a topic. I just want you to know that I will be taking it on as a biblical issue.”

     “And I just want to let you know that I am planning on bringing some supporters of mine,” I responded. “In regards to why it’s not a sin.”

     “That’s fine Ryan,” he said. “Everyone is welcome to join us.”

     I got in contact with the help centre for gender and sexually diverse people in my city and reached out for some help for the anticipated night. They referred me to a lady who was a youth minister in the Anglican Church. She and her lesbian partner had received some grief in the past for marrying when she worked at a church which did not condone same-sex marriages. She was nearly forced to resign at the church one weekend when their honeymoon took an abrupt end due to the drama within her church. Afterward she received a job as a youth minister in a more accepting congregation.

     We scheduled a meeting at her church and discussed the possibility of her visitation of this event. She greeted me with kindness and shared her story while expressing that she had never heard of anyone being as courageous within a homophobic church in regards to their sexual orientation. She agreed to go with me to the Alliance church that evening and what we experienced is something that would be remembered forever in our lives, which later spurred other positive opportunities within my faith journey.

     We were seated in the coffee lounge area of the church on the night of the event. Friends of mine realized how much it meant to me if they would come in support of me and around fifteen people came on my behalf. We sat at joined tables and no other church members sat with us because they had the impression that we were allies and members of the gender and sexually diverse community.

     Generally what happens in a young adults’ event is a silly “icebreaker” game to get everyone socializing, a short sermon from the youth pastor and questions picked by the pastor for reflection. I remember the “icebreaker” being a bit awkward because we all knew what was coming afterwards

          Story continues in book (text removed)





Religious Manipulation in Regards to Homosexuality

     The Christian sharing circle was told that there would be a talk in a Roman Catholic Church which apparently was going to be something positive towards gay and lesbian people. It sounded appealing to us and we attended.

     We met in a room with couches and sat around in a circle for this unique gathering. We were left in the dark that there was a man who would be sharing his story and he was very involved in “Courage”, a Roman Catholic support group which promoted the practice of disowning homosexual desires.

     He touched on some sexual abuse which happened to him as a child and began talking about “wisdom” that only the Roman Catholic Church obtained. Thus stating that as Roman Catholic people they were to abide by their catechism which states:




2357 Homosexuality refers to relations between men or between women who experience an exclusive or predominant sexual attraction toward persons of the same sex. It has taken a great variety of forms through the centuries and in different cultures. Its psychological genesis remains largely unexplained. Basing itself on Sacred Scripture, which presents homosexual acts as acts of grave depravity,141 tradition has always declared that "homosexual acts are intrinsically disordered."142 They are contrary to the natural law. They close the sexual act to the gift of life. They do not proceed from a genuine affective and sexual complementarity. Under no circumstances can they be approved. 


 2358 The number of men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies is not negligible. This inclination, which is objectively disordered, constitutes for most of them a trial. They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided. These persons are called to fulfil God’s will in their lives and, if they are Christians, to unite to the sacrifice of the Lord’s Cross the difficulties they may encounter from their condition.

2359 Homosexual persons are called to chastity. By the virtues of self-mastery that teach them inner freedom, at times by the support of disinterested friendship, by prayer and sacramental grace, they can and should gradually and resolutely approach Christian perfection.



     Obviously this theory on homosexuality is outdated and inaccurate. For example when it says that tradition has always viewed homosexuality as disordered, it only pertains to the culture in which this was written. There were Pagan cultures in which members would celebrate same-sex relationships and even went as far as to ceremonially officiate their relationships. To say that homosexuality has always been viewed as “disordered” is nothing but a fabrication and surely we can’t take what the catechism says as a science or “God breathed” for that matter.

     We called him out on what he was saying.

          Story continues in book (text removed)





A Special Day with Her Uncle
     One weekend I had my niece over for the weekend in my apartment. We stayed up late to watch scary movies on Saturday and on Sunday we decided that we would have a nice day together in my neighbourhood.

     Outside my apartment was a church nearby and we decided to go check it out that morning. It was a special morning for us since we saw a baby get baptized who had the same name as her. It was almost like we were looking into the past and she saw how beautiful her own ceremony was when she was baptized. She saw how special I was to her and how special she was to me because I was chosen to guide her in her spiritual journey as her Godfather.

     After church we went for a quick lunch then decided to take a walk. We walked by a house I often walked by on my neighbourhood walks which is supposedly haunted and on this special day we were able to go inside the historic house as the city opened it for the day. To this day my niece swears that she felt someone poke her when we were in one of the bedrooms.



“The Marr Residence is the oldest house in Saskatoon still standing on its original site. Built by Alexander (Sandy) Marr in 1884, it was one of the first substantial houses to appear in the original Temperance Colony of Saskatoon. Mr. Marr brought his wife and family west; drawn by the lure of homestead land and a chance to make a living in the new colony. The house and property was acquired by the City of Saskatoon in 1979 and restored to show what domestic life was like in early Saskatoon. Today, the house also features an exhibit on the relationships between settlers and First Nations during the Northwest Resistance of 1885. A second floor bedroom is dedicated to telling the story of the use of the house as a Field Hospital during the Resistance.”
Source:
http://themarr.ca/


      After visiting the Marr residence we went for pie and ice cream and on our way home, my niece noticed a store close by which sold metaphysical supplies. She mentioned that she has always wanted to see what witchcraft supplies were like but seemed hesitant because of what she thought I might think.

          Story continues in book (text removed)





The Breakup

     I started dating a man who was very intellectual and treated me better than any previous loves I had. He was very career orientated and although he was very busy at times, I started to fall in love with him. However I started to fear rejection again and broke up with him. Shortly after, I took a look at myself in the mirror and said, “What are you doing? You have to stop doing this to yourself! You know what you want, so stop being a dumbass…”

     I met him at the prehistoric museum shortly after in the university. It was very nice to see him again and I almost didn’t want to say what was on my mind because we were having such a nice time together. He sat down with me and held my hand.

     “So what did you want to talk about?” he asked.

     I paused. “I’m just so worried that what’s on my mind, you won’t support.”

     He smiled. “You don’t have to worry about me Ryan. I’m sure you know how much of an opened mind I have.”

     “I just feel like I made a mistake breaking up with you,” I admitted.

     “I thought that’s what this would be about,” he said.

     I told him about my past rejections and why I often was in short lived relationships.

     “Will you get back together with me?” I asked.

          Story continues in book (text removed)





Outgrowing Christianity

     My role as the Co-chair of the Saskatoon branch of Integrity caused me to become fairly involved with the Anglican Church. It was to the point where the lesbian youth minister I mentioned, who was ordained as a Priest, wanted me to start ministry and theology courses. I thought that I may have felt a calling to do so because it seemed that’s where my life was headed.

     I had met with the Anglican Archdeacon of Saskatoon and had also discussed courses with a professor in the seminary. It was agreed that I become more involved with an Anglican Church and I naturally followed where the lesbian priest served.

     As I became more involved in the church, however, my mind was in a state of what I call “religious overload”. I began taking the religion too seriously and started to conform to how other people acted in the church. When I realized how much this church relied on money rather than faith, it was the final straw and I stopped going.

     During the time period in which I became involved with the Anglican Church and shortly after the protest, I was contacted by a former Pastor who desperately wanted to speak with me. A member of Integrity forwarded his phone number to me while asking me to be careful because we knew nothing about this man besides that he was probably gay.

     I called him and he mentioned that he didn’t wish to reveal his identity because he was a very well-known individual within the Christian community. He had many questions about my journey in Christianity and how I came to having a close relationship with “Jesus” while embracing my sexual orientation. I gave him my phone number in case he had any other questions.

     He called many times and we seemed to have a very deep spiritual connection as he started sharing a bit of his story, but he wouldn’t tell me which church he worked for or his real name. He introduced himself as “Jay” and when he later revealed his name to me, things started to get awkward for him.



     We eventually met at a restaurant and there always seemed to be this secret on his mind which happened within his former church.

          Story continues in book (text removed)




Read more previews HERE

Becoming the Devil They Fear to be released in late January/early February!

Wednesday, 4 January 2017

Guardian Angel



Contacting One’s Guardian Angel

     One casts a circle and lights incense. They light the altar candle and day candle and say:

      “I call to my Guardian Angel.”

     The athame is used to carve “Spirit” in a violet candle and the candle is lit. The flame is gazed upon until they reach a trance state. They say:

      “I light the Lamp of Spirit,
     May its light shine across the spiritual realm.
     May the light strengthen, dissipating all darkness,
     Lighting the way for my Guardian Angel.”
     A wand is taken and swung around the altar, while they sing “Unite” repeatedly to gain energy from the other side.
     A white candle is carved with “Truth” and lit. One says:
     “I light this candle for Truth.
     Its energy influences truth through the pathway to me.”

     One should sit contentedly while chanting “Unite” and look into their crystal ball or a clear glass of water. Once they feel it’s time to stop chanting, they gaze into a crystal ball or glass of water.

     Eventually a face will appear, however if it doesn’t within twenty minutes, stop and try again later. The candles are blown out in the order in which they were lit.

     If a figure does appear, it’s asked if he/she is their Guardian Angel. They may not hear an answer out loud, or even see the face’s lips move, but the spirit will make the answer known. Questions can be asked mentally or out loud and the answers will be clear inside your mind or aloud.

     The candles are blown out afterwards and the materials are put away.





In likeness to:
http://www.spellsofmagic.com/spells/spiritual_spells/summon_spells/21719/page.html






Something Touched Me


     My mother received a great deal on a duplex during my final year of high school. It was spacious and rented for a lower price than most others. I believe that she received the offer on it because the owners knew my uncle who was my principal. He is a well-respected man in the Roman Catholic community. After a few problems of finding a decent home for us to live in, we had found one that we believed would be perfect for us.

     After the ceremony of my high school graduation, we went home and as I was bending over to put my diploma on the living room coffee table, it felt as if someone was patting me on the back. I looked behind me and my mother and sister were still by the door about ten feet away.

     “Hey, did one of you just touch me on the back?” I asked.



     “No…” They both replied.

     “That’s weird,” I said. “I could have sworn I felt someone touch my back.”

     There was a pause.

     “Maybe it was your Grandpa Willey,” my mother suggested.

     The thought that it was my grandfather (father’s side) certainly was a possibility based on another story which was shared with me by a cousin. She had seen my grandfather’s spirit quite a few times. He appeared to her as a black figure and she knew it was him because this spirit was quite slim and taller like my grandfather. The spirit’s chin matched my grandfather’s as well and she had a dream in which he told her it was him.

      She had seen him walking down the halls in her family basement at a quick pace many times.

          Continues in book (text removed)





“Do You Think Our Place is Haunted?”

     There were some strange occurrences which took place in our duplex…

     One night my mind was racing due to the stress of not being able to find a job. I struggled to achieve independence and at times found it hard to acknowledge my self-worth.

     I was facing the wall next to my bed and, due to my restlessness, I was moving around a lot. I had moved my arm and placed my hand in a spot of my bed that felt strangely ice cold. I moved my hand to get comfortable and found it strange that this one specific area of my bed was so cold.

     I rolled over to view the cold area of my bed and saw someone lying their head on the edge of my bed staring at me in the moonlight from my window.

         Continues in book (text removed)





Another Ouija Board

     As I grew older I had overcome my fear of the experience I had with the Ouija board my sister and I used. Soon after we moved into our duplex, my friends were interested in using a Ouija board with me, so I decided to surprise them and purchased one.

     I called one of my friends to tell him and soon I received a couple more phone calls from friends excited to try it with me. I took it with me to one of my friends’ homes that evening and we immediately started using it.

     The results that evening suggest that one or more of my friends were moving the planchette themselves. It became obvious when I could see a friend who was rather narcissistic at times using more hand activities than the others and the answers we received were typical of his fictitious stories he’d share. I’ve always known him to exaggerate the truth to satisfy his own portrayals of self. I often suspected that he just wanted to be relatable to the other friends in our group.

     When I went home that evening, I put the board away and didn’t concern myself with it until the next day. Out of curiosity, I started to use it and ask questions. However, no matter what I asked, the planchette would repeatedly got to the letters A and J for the first while.

     I eventually asked, “Is that you name?”

     The planchette moved to YES, then to J-O-H-N.

     “You mean my grandpa?” I asked.

     The planchette moved to YES.

     My grandfather had not passed away at this point and was in palliative care. We knew his time to perish was coming soon, so I was curious and wanted to prepare myself for the death.

     “Do you know when he will pass away?” I asked.

          Continues in book (text removed)








Returning to Christian Camp with the Angel

     I returned to the Christian family camp with the Christian boy I once fell for and his family. I became less about poking fun at the fanatics and desired to become one. Even though my friend and I were young adults, we decided to participate in the adults group in which we would have mature conversations about “God”.

     We played a more sweet and innocent role with the youth and we didn’t participate as much with them because we felt that we were growing on our spiritual paths and “on fire” with the “Holy Spirit”. We were less entertaining to the youth and more like typical boring Christian adults.

     One evening I shared some of my story with the adults group. One of them said a prayer and invited the “Holy Spirit” to enter and allow us to share accordingly. My heart was pounding because I knew I had a story to tell. I shared a bit of my experience with the Ouija board and that since I was a newly “born again Christian”, I believed it was evil and that the one who claimed to be my Guardian Angel was most likely a demon.

     Afterwards I shared about my sexual desires and that I didn’t believe that they were “pure in the eyes of God”. By this time, I had told a few close friends that I was bi-curious as I desired to explore love with women. However, my desires circulated around Christian beliefs rather than true genuine passionate love.

     These weren’t stories in which these people generally heard and a few of them immediately asked if they could pray over me after I was done sharing. The prayer time resulted in one of the adults asking me to repeat what he said if I so desired. Lucky for him I had been brainwashed prior to this which inevitably buried me even deeper into a hole of manipulated Christian culture.

     “Dear Jesus,” one of the adults said.

     “Dear Jesus,” I repeated.

          Continues in book (text removed)








Becoming the Devil They Fear to be released in late January/early February! 

Monday, 12 December 2016

Brainwashed



Protect Against Chaotic Spirituality Spell

     To begin, one goes outside and lights three to five white candles around oneself. Thereafter one takes an artifact of a religion which someone they know follows in a negative way, and places black stones around it. Then one covers it in salt and gazes into the salt until in a trance.

     Then one looks to the moon or sun and chants:

     “Blessed Divine, as I continue my journey this day/night,
     Protect me from those who claim destructive righteousness.

    Through my attempt to harm none this day/night,
     Please cast chaotic schemes away,
     From those who wear this artifact.
     Give them a source of faith in the most positive form,
     Not from those who fear which they cannot understand”

     It is repeated as many times as needed. The spell is done, so then close the circle by blowing out the candles clockwise. The religious artifact is wiped clean and given to the person who has been spiritually negative towards one.

     The artifact is now a source of power which will bind negative spirituality from the person wearing it as well as those around them.

Written by Ryan Willey

 More information on protection magic can be found here:

 http://www.wingsforthespirit.com/spiritual-protection-techniques.htm






The Cult

     I attended another youth group on occasion in a rather large church because the Christian boy who I had once fallen for started becoming very involved with three charismatic churches. I enjoyed going to two of those churches because I felt that people enjoyed my unique brand of humour and my positive morals. The boy I once fell for was now more of a close friend to me, rather than a romantic interest, and I would usually only go to youth groups with him.

     After attending this large church for an extended period of time, the Christian boy invited me to go to a youth retreat in the church for a weekend. It sounded like fun and I made some new friends in the youth group who were also attending. My friend had gone once before and was excited for me to go because it apparently was “a life changing experience”.

     He drove to my place early one Saturday morning and seemed very excited that I was attending the retreat. Another friend of ours who had gone through the previous retreat was with him, also excited for the weekend. I sat in the back seat and they kept saying many random things which I assumed one would only understand if they had already attended the retreat.

     We arrived and entered the office area of the church where other newcomers of the retreat were welcomed. There were around forty of us and we waited as the others who brought us to the retreat prepared to start.

     The friend who was with us in the car came and told us it was time to start. He was ecstatic and told us to join hands and form a line as he guided us into the gymnasium of the church. We were greeted with cheers and confetti being thrown in our faces as if we were very important people who had arrived to an event in our honour. Soon after we all joined hands and those who brought us sang a song about having “a new life”.

     I wasn’t too worried about it at the time because I trusted my friend and it all seemed quite positive. I had become more of a firm believer in “Christ” and more open to other denominations of Christianity. Although this event took place inside an Alliance church, the event was meant to be for anyone seeking a path to the divine in their lives. I suppose this was their version of that and I went into the retreat expecting to become closer to “Jesus”.

     There were a number of people who brought friends to this event which they claimed to be a gift from the people who brought us. I definitely appreciated the sentiment of my friend and loved seeing how happy he was that I was there. However there were, on occasion, people who left the retreat and if you attempted to leave, you were surrounded by some of the organizers being questioned of why you wanted to leave. Then they would desperately try to convince you to stay and say things like “just wait it out for a while because the real retreat hasn’t even started yet and when it does, you’ll be glad you stayed”. Throughout the weekend we constantly heard the same songs about being in “Jesus’ arms of love” and having “a new life”. It was an attempt to turn us all into firm believers of “Christ” and possibly even joining their group for future retreats.


Story continues in book (text removed)











Leading the Youth

     Once I had reached my early twenties, I had decided to volunteer my time with the church which held the youth retreat. I became a youth leader for the youth group and I would attend weekly. The teens especially adored me because although I obtained much wisdom, I’ve always had a unique, off-colour sense of humour. They enjoyed visiting me in my personal time also, where they started to see the perverse side of my humour in its fullness.

     I certainly wasn’t a youth leader in a way in which most Christian parents would consider “a good role model”. However, the kids saw something different in me and many of them called me their best friend. They didn’t look at me as your normal uptight Christian adult who wanted to conform them in a manner of “right-wing” Christian morals. Instead I brought forth a genuine love, in which we shared stories of life and how we chose to handle them in our own personal ways regardless of what the church taught, or general bible teachings for that matter.

     One boy from the youth group often spent weekends at my family’s house and we would go to church on Sunday mornings. He would meet his family at the church to go home outside of the city. He wasn’t very much younger than me, I was twenty-one years old while he was seventeen when he would stay for nights at my place.

     I admit that out of desperation for love, I developed feelings for him as he treated me the way that I’ve always wanted to be treated by a man. Although he was rather handsome and charming, nothing inappropriate happened between us nor did I attempt to let anything happen. However, it was partially why he held such a charm on me in our friendship.

     I respected the fact that he was still rather impressionable. Eventually I realized that he didn’t share the same interest that I had for other boys, which made my situation easier in regards to feelings or temptations I had for him. I was still very happy to have such a beautiful, kind, caring friend, but I suppose the closeness in our friendship still gave me certain feelings for him which I could not deny.

     Around the time I was volunteering as a youth leader, the Christian boy who I previously fell for invited me to go to a Christian camp with his family. They had attended the camp for many years and it had become a tradition for them. My friend was very excited to share the experience with me.

     My friend and I were at a fairly awkward age to be going to the camp because there were more adults with small children rather than people our own age. Still it didn’t take long for us to start finding ways to have fun with the children given our eccentric senses of humour which shone so bright when we were together.

     We started by doing childish things such as “armpit farts” and “poop jokes”. It made us feel like we were the same children from when we attended the junior high youth group. We would go so far as to poke fun at the junior high youth at the camp by saying a few off-colour jokes every once in a while. Fairly quickly we found the children who appreciated our jokes more than those who did not.

    The adults saw that we had a connection with the junior high youth and the counselor leading the youth that summer asked us to join their group because they saw how the children looked up to us.

Story continues in book (text removed)





The Moment Everything Changed

     Another youth retreat weekend took place a few months after camp and I had become one of the leaders for it. I convinced a couple of friends who I had met at churches to go and was excited for them to experience the weekend. I was in a group of leaders rather than sharing with the guests and I became close to a girl in our group. We had lots of fun together and we seemed to share similar senses of humour. We shared many stories in our group and I got close to her.

     The weekend went as expected with the guests I had invited. They both took it all in like I did but now I was left with these feelings for this girl I had met which I was rather curious about. I convinced myself that I was in love with her and thought that by pursuing a relationship with her, I may be on the right track with “God”.

     I asked her out on dates in which we became even closer. I asked her to be my girlfriend twice and she finally said “yes”. I was so excited because it was my first love interest who wanted to love me back. I had even hoped that because we would be a “respected Christian couple”, then we would be married one day and grow old together, thus pleasing “God”.

     The youth group I was still helping lead was having an event one night in which everyone would stay overnight at the church and I asked my girlfriend to join us. The boy I had feelings for was also attending along with some other friends with whom we had become acquainted. We watched a silly movie to begin the evening and I sat beside my girlfriend holding her hand. There was a lot of joking around going on during the movie between me and some of the other guys which peaked my interest a fair bit.

     After the movie, my girlfriend and a friend of mine who was a couple of years older than me stayed behind as the boy I had feelings for ventured around the church with me recording funny moments on my video camera as we acted very silly. The other boys got involved and we all had a really fun time dancing to music and getting really hyper. As the saying goes “boys will be boys”.

     It was probably one of the most fun times of my younger years. Everyone seemed to like me and how different I was compared to the other leaders and how I really didn’t care what people thought of me, although I still had these secret desires which I had struggled with since reaching puberty. I desperately tried fighting it, but no matter how hard I prayed to “Jesus”, I couldn’t quite get over these feelings for other boys. There always seemed to be boys in my life for whom I had feelings.

     My girlfriend started to notice the way I acted around some of the boys compared to how I acted around her. She could tell that I must have not been interested in her as much as spending time with the boys. She didn’t assume that I was gay, however she wondered if I enjoyed being with her to the extent of a true passionate relationship.

Story continues in book (text removed)








Becoming the Devil They Fear to be released in late January/early February! 

Religion & Puberty





Sexual Attraction Spell

     A red candle is lit with the person of interest’s name carved on it. Rose petals are put in a bath tub with blends of cinnamon as you soak in the water. Gaze into the candle’s flame and in a trance-like state say:

"Goddess of beauty and charm,
Come as I want to attract (name) so dearly.
Beautiful mother of the night, please give him/her to me.
Please help me be attractive to him/her.
So mote it be!”

     The tub is emptied and the candle blown out. Then apply your favourite perfume/cologne, or one that the person of interest admires. Then go to see the one you desire to see if the spell worked. It will help to do something special with them in which you are alone together.


Similar Attraction spells can be found in:

The Little Book of Love Spells By Sophia
The Supermarket Sorceress's Sexy Hexes By Lexa Rosean
Earth Magic By Claire Nahmad





Catholic School Boy’s Sign from “God”

     I went to Catholic school all of my school years mostly due to a very religious background on my mother’s side of the family. I truly believed in many of the Catholic teachings even so far as to believe that “God” sent his son to save us all. I was well respected for standing up for my beliefs by many family members and peers and wanted to become a priest at one point. I’ve always had a strong belief in spirituality regardless of what I believed in certain parts of my life and I believe that I have seen signs and felt spiritual presence from the Divine to confirm my spiritual paths.

     Teenage years are difficult for any child, especially when your home life has many struggles due to divorce, health issues in the family and other kinds of troubles. At one point I prayed to “God” after troubles with a parent and felt a presence. I was on my knees, asking “God” why life was so incredibly difficult and why I had so many burdens in my life which other children didn’t have. All that I wanted was a life in which my family could have things a bit easier.

      Suddenly shivers ran across my entire body and I started feeling this strange pressure on my shoulders as if someone was putting their hands on my shoulders, comforting me, letting me know that everything would be alright. Tears ran down my face with mixed emotions of worry, but also hope and happiness for a better future.

      A couple of days later I was on my way inside our home and as I looked into the sky I noticed some sort of bird high up in the sky. The bird looked as if it was rising up into the sky without having to flap its wings. Then a powerful white light shone out of it and the bird turned into flames before my eyes. Shortly after, my Christian Ethics class went to a church for a “Q&A” about the Roman Catholic Church with a minister from the parish we were visiting.

      The discussions were fairly specific to beliefs and politics which the Catholic Church believes or believed at the time. However, I didn’t participate in those kinds of discussions because I felt that I was on the right path with “God” already.

     All that I wanted to know was what the dove with the flames all around it on the church’s painted glass symbolized.

          Continues in book (text removed)


Falling for a Christian Boy

      My father remarried and there was a Christian family who helped with their wedding. Before the wedding, I went to their home for supper with my stepmother’s mother. She thought that I needed positive influence in my life because I didn’t listen to “happy music” and I had quite a few issues with individuals in my family.

     On the car ride to the family’s home she told me how the boy in the family, who was two years younger than me, enjoyed going to church and was very good at playing piano. This individual didn’t sound very appealing to me because all I knew was the Roman Catholic culture in regards to Christianity. I often didn’t fit in with them and doubted some of the things they believe. However, I was curious to see what the boy looked like as I was going through my peak of puberty.

      I followed my soon to be “step grandmother” into their home and was greeted with kindness. Soon after I was introduced to the boy of the family and wanted to socialize with him since I realized that he was rather good-looking. We went into the basement for a while and he showed me around. Then he wanted to show me some of his possessions in his bedroom where we started to get to know each other.

     We liked the same rock bands which I was surprised about since they were quite vulgar at times. Later we realized that we had many things in common and the one thing I wondered constantly was how likely it was that he had special feelings for me as well. The kind of feelings which surpassed the feelings of our new friendship which I desperately hoped he did.

     He was a rarity in my life and didn’t concern himself with the cruel natures of the school playground. He was genuine and I could tell that he liked me even if I was rather odd at times. While he also showed me sides of his personality that made it so easy to fall in love with him. We shared the same down to earth mannerisms in life and we loved to push the edges around people to get an awkward reaction out of them. We were so much alike and we always kept each other entertained.

      Whether we were watching a movie which we shouldn’t have been watching or stopping to take a breath and talking for hours about life and our purpose, he was someone I could really talk to; and that was fairly hard to find because I was either a loser or just a clown to most people. In time, however, he really helped me gather key social skills which I still use to this day. I was able to talk to people in a genuine manner no matter who they were or what their background was.

     Soon after meeting, I stayed over for weekends at his family’s place. We both slept in his bed and I remember the first night I slept at their place. My mind was going crazy with thoughts of how I could get this boy with whom I was falling in love to tell me that he was gay too. I also desperately wanted us to pleasure each other because of my age and how comfortable I was with him. I knew I had to tell him how much I loved him but first I thought I should see if he was even interested in me sexually.

     We talked about the most current “celebrity babes” and how good looking they were to make the situation less “gay” at first and possibly less awkward. I started pleasuring myself under my sleeping bag which he thought was because of the girls we were talking about, however my hormones were racing solely because of him. Soon after he also began pleasuring himself under his covers. We both were “early bloomers” in regards to puberty and this boy was causing me huge tension in my body as I desperately wanted to make love to him.





The Other Boys

     I would often convince other neighbourhood boys to expose their penises to me at a young age since I was an “early bloomer”. I felt attracted to my neighbourhood friends since I was as young as nine years old. When we were alone in our basements, as we played games, I was often very convincing for them to show me their penises and out of curiosity and male bonding, they honoured my special desire for them.

     A very handsome looking Mormon boy moved into our rental community and he seemed to enjoy showing me his penis. I didn’t have to convince him as we played in the landscape in our community which I referred to as “the forest”. We would play out in the trees and even if we weren’t alone and other friends were around he would show it to me. Eventually he moved to another city and I never saw him again.

     I remember the desires I felt at the young age of nine and when I turned ten I started to experience erections. I would go to the washroom to relieve the tension, not thinking what I was doing was wrong. However, I later heard differently from the other students in my Catholic school.

     I became friends with a boy in my catholic school and during our preteen years there seemed to be tension between us. He loved coming over to my home and spending time with me. It was so hard for people like him or me to make friends because we wanted something more than just school friendships. We desired a true connection with each other and we had that for a while. Eventually we even shared that connection we had with a couple of other kids in our class who didn’t seem to be as comfortable with our classmates as others did. We were our own group of friends so felt like we now belonged, and some of the other classmates were even jealous of us because of the closeness we shared.

     I recall the boy whom I shared tension with looking at me in the corner of his eye as we watched television alone in my bedroom one afternoon. However, because of the negative reactions at my school because of being gay, I wasn’t comfortable opening up to him. The sexual desires I had for him were strong and I even wrote about my desires in my own personal diary. But I wasn’t convinced that I could trust my judgement that he too had the same desires.

     We often shared a dream of one day moving away together and we became best friends for a short while. However, that changed when we went to summer camp together one year. I had grown immensely attached to him and always wanted to be around him. I became too clingy in his eyes and he seemed to want to see the other boys rather than me. I wondered if because I often lied about desires for the opposite sex that he was convinced I wasn’t gay. Maybe he found some boys that summer who were like us since he wanted to get away from me a lot.

     Through frustration of extreme desperation of wanting another boy to love me as much as I loved him, this boy started to tell me that I wasn’t his best friend anymore. We were “just friends” and as time persisted, our friendship faded.

     Of course, there were other times in my childhood in which it was more about lust than love. There was another boy who, on rare occasions, came over to my home with his mother. While our mothers visited, we would have male bonding time together and on one occasion they visited while I was developing strong pubescent hormones.

     We sat in my bedroom together to watch television on my bed and I laughed as he said a few curse words, acting somewhat inappropriate for our age. It made me think, however, that I might be able to convince him to do sexual things with me.

          Continues in book (text removed)





Attempting with the Christian Boy

     I climaxed a couple of times in my sleeping bag during my first night at the Christian boy’s home. However I still wanted more and I finally made an advancement towards him.

“I’ve got to tell you something,” I whispered.

“What,” he asked.

“I’m gay,” I answered.


          Continues in book (text removed)




Christian Youth Groups

     One of the first times the Christian boy called me, he asked me to go to a youth group. It was a rather strange idea to me, being a freshman in high school while he was still in junior high. Since the group would be mainly junior high kids, I hesitated. This boy was different however, although I wondered if the others in the group would be too childish for my liking. However those thoughts went away quickly because of the feelings I had for the Christian boy and even if the younger children annoyed me, at least I’d be with him. I simply couldn’t get enough of my new friend.

     I was more domesticated than the other children in the group besides the boy I was falling for. We both had many good times playing with people’s minds and making them feel awkward by saying odd inappropriate things.

     I remember the first time that I went to the group, I referred to a yellow “Uno” card as “the colour of piss”. I sometimes received weird looks by the others in the group, however the youth pastor had a fairly good sense of humour and didn’t get overly upset if I behaved more strangely than the other children.

     I found that the game nights were sort of lame but I enjoyed the company of the boy who I loved so I didn’t care how lame they were. However we started having a lot of fun with the youth pastor’s video camera. We made sketches and a lot of them were really ridiculous. It made me feel like we were younger versions of a popular comedian I idolized at the time who recorded a lot of silly raw material for television, Tom Green.

     The youth group started to be a lot of fun once the Christian boy and I started to become comfortable about who we were and how we interacted with the other children. We would poke fun with a lot of the other kids and some of the beliefs they had adopted from their parents. I claimed to be Roman Catholic due to my upbringing, however due to having fairly liberal parents, I was able to adopt some beliefs which always seemed to be ahead of the society in which we live.

     Some of these children came from typical “born again” families which meant they were often home schooled and sheltered. They were allowed to go to church related events, however if they were to have a friend over or go to a friend’s house, their parents would keep a very close eye on who they associated with. They would have to meet their parents a few times before allowing them to be influenced by whomever their children had an interest in socializing with.

      Often the other children didn’t know what to think about my strange sense of humour and I would even whisper some sexual jokes and comments to them.

          Continues in book (text removed)










         

Becoming the Devil They Fear to be released in early January/late February!

Monday, 14 November 2016

Opened Doors








Summoning Spell

    One makes an incense out of aloe, pepper, musk, vervain and saffron. They burn it in a cemetery or somewhere relevant to the spirit on the anniversary of their death at eleven in the evening. They do this in a magic circle for protection against dark forces, using meaningful items to connect to the spirit. They chant:

 “Keepers of the other realm, guide my plea tonight.
On the hour of the witch, bring (spirit’s name) to this place.
I welcome all others who hear my plea,
to be present in this place with positive energy.
Only (spirit’s name) shall enter the sacred circle.”

    Repeat three times, twenty minutes apart and wait quietly. Signs the spirit is present are scents of flowers, a scent of familiar cologne, a random cool breeze, curtains moving and candles or lights going out or flickering randomly.


In likeness to:

http://www.spellsofmagic.com/spells/beauty_spells/body_spells/3066/page.html



Opening the Door

     I was a rather odd a child. Always feeling a calling into the occult but yet not being able to understand what that meant until my late twenties.

     One of the odd things I would do with the other children in my housing community was running around with the other kids pretending to be a ghost. My sister and I would run around our home in capes pretending that we were vampires and terrifying our mother as we tried to convince her that we were vampires.

     She especially got scared when we played those characters so well that she started to think that we truly believed that we were vampires. We often told her that we could fly out my sister’s two story bedroom window while she prayed that our imagination wouldn’t go so far as to jump out.

     Although a lot of my childhood memories of my relation to the occult seem rather childish and make-believe there were a few significant moments that really opened me to the spiritual realm. The first memory I have is a memory which I question on whether or not it genuinely opened me to the spiritual realm.

     I was sitting in a rather small landscape within our rental community full of trees and grass which as children we called “the forest”. I sat there with a girl who my mother often babysat while her children went to school and our father was on the road. The girl had this small toy made to look like a miniature globe of the earth. I stared at the globe as she held it in her hand and began chanting.

“Spirits of the world! Please come out!”

     She began chanting with me and the two of us probably seemed absolutely bonkers to anyone who may have seen us. We chanted louder and louder to the point where we were nearly yelling to each other and this small globe. Thereafter we started to feel strange as if we were beside ourselves but then started laughing and everything was back to normal. I sometimes question if this moment I had with this girl opened me to spiritual cravings I get within the occult.

     After my parents divorced, my mother, sisters and I moved into a duplex as a new beginning. A strange memory I have in our home was during an Easter break. My older sister, her friend and I had the idea to purchase a Parker Brother’s Ouija board from a store close to our home. I still remember the funny looks I got from other shoppers and the cashier.

     We took it home, lit a candle and immediately opened the board from the box. My older sister and her friend used it at this time for the most part. The planchette looked as though it moved while they barely touched it and they seemed to be talking to a spirit. They asked general questions about the spirit but I was rather skeptical at this point and wished that we had taken that money which our mother left us for lunch to buy something else.

     However later in the evening I became less skeptical. My mom came home and we hid the Ouija board in my older sister’s bedroom in the basement. After supper, her friend and I joined her in her bedroom where I participated with them using Ouija board. We spoke with a spirit who rather quickly started to scare the hell out of me.

     The planchette started to spell out the word “curse” after numerous obscenities and name calling geared towards us. Whenever we would ask what the spirit was talking about, the planchette repeatedly spelled “curse”.



          Story continues in book (text removed)







The Soldier & the Orb

      It was a quiet night in our family home as I laid asleep in my small bedroom with my toys shoved away to the side of my room. My sisters laid asleep in their bunk beds, older on the top and younger on the bottom. My parents laid asleep in their queen-sized bed and we all weren’t expecting a thing.

     A dream took place in my mother’s head as she dreamed of a disturbance outside my parents’ bedroom. A man in old army wear walking amongst the hallway of our bedrooms as she gasps.

“Just wanted to say hello ma’am,” the man said to her from the hallway.

     She became startled and awoke from her deep sleep. Then she saw something,

          Story continues in book (text removed)


A Sister with a Connection to “the Other Side”


     My sister laid in bed awake one night during her childhood and something caught her eye. At first she saw a red dress but the thing that scared her the most was the woman inside it. The woman stayed there, outside her bedroom doorway levitating with her feet turned completely around. My sister laid in bed too terrified to say anything and didn’t want to bring any attention towards her. Under the covers she hid until the apparition was gone.

     Are some of us born with this doorway to the spirit world already opened? If you were to ask my sister, I believe she would give you an opinion of certainty.

     On another occasion she and our cousin found an Ouija board in the basement of our grandparents’ house who have since passed on. They were excited to try something scary, however they soon wished that they hadn’t.

     They took the board out of the box as they hid in our twin fathers’ childhood bedroom in the basement. They sat on one of the two twin beds with red covers and they began their experience. They began speaking to a spirit who was rather friendly at first, however soon their experience took a turn. The spirit began to seem irritated and suddenly the planchette was moving in such a speed and in a way that scared both of the girls.

        Story continues in book (text removed)









Aunt’s & Cousin’s Paranormal Experiences

     When our parents heard about what happened with my grandparent’s Ouija board, an aunt of mine became very upset with my sister and cousin. She exclaimed that what they were doing was dangerous and that they should never do it again. She thereafter told us a frightening story of what happened to her as a child.

     She was spending the night with some girls at a friend’s house with a new friend of theirs. The new friend was different from the other girls and my aunt found her odd. Some of the other girls also didn’t quite understand her personality. They all decided that it would be a fun idea to use the Ouija board in the basement.

     These girls had never tried it before besides the girl who lived in the house. They began their attempt to commune with the spirits.

 “Is there anybody here?” one of the girls asked.

      The planchette moved to YES then started racing in a sideways figure eight.

 “Oh my God!” my aunt exclaimed as the other girls screamed. “Is someone doing that?”

      The planchette moved to YES and flew across the room. The girls screamed in terror, except for the odd girl. She stood up and wasn’t saying anything.

The others screamed her name, “What’s wrong?”

     She stood there with a blank face and suddenly her face changed to an angry expression...

               Story continues in book (text removed)








Younger Sister’s Premonitions

     My younger sister, like the other family members I have mentioned, also seems to have her moments of the unexplained. On the day of my grandmother’s (father’s side) death she was riding her bike and a bird flew up to her, pecking her cheek. She believes it was our Grandmother trying to say goodbye.

     On another occasion, she was riding her bike when she saw a familiar vehicle which she recognized. My grandfather (mother’s side) was always known for his red Lincoln Town Car and how he took such good care of it. But he never seemed to let his nice car get to his head. He would wait for pedestrians who wanted to cross the street even when they didn’t have the right of way, followed by a friendly nod. He was generally a cautious driver and whenever someone showed recognition of his kind manner, he would always give his friendly nod.

     When my sister noticed the car she could have sworn that it was our grandfather who let her cross the street with her bike and gave his very familiar nod that he always gave. She quickly looked back when she started riding her bike and was shocked when she realized that the car was nowhere to be seen. She couldn’t explain it!

     What my sister has always been most known for in regards to the paranormal, are her premonitions. Our grandmother (mother’s side) passed away not long ago and on the day that she passed, my sister could have sworn she saw her picture in the newspaper in the obituaries. Later that evening, my grandmother had peacefully passed.

     There is an older story that doesn’t sit very well with any of us in our family.


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Horror Junkies

     It was the age of going to video rental stores and picking up the newest blockbusters on VHS. Most of the time my older sister, my mother and I enjoyed watching the horror flicks. Especially the ones about ghosts, demons, the devil and possession. The creativity of these films held me in pure fascination and although I was scared, I couldn’t resist but to keep watching more.

     Horror films influenced my writing in elementary school and my teachers generally were not impressed. There were quite a few horror stories which I wrote, however I only remember the ones in which I am most proud of.

     There was the story I wrote as a sequel to a very terrible film about trolls. I wrote the characters as people who were very dense with the father as a voice of reason. I recall my teacher raising his eyebrows to a line the mother said, “That looks delicious, I go eat it!” as I referred to green vile troll blood.

     I also wrote a story about three girls who used a Ouija board and whenever they fell asleep, they would wake up in “Hell”.

     There was also a story I wrote about a problem child whose teacher hired an assassin to kill and instead of paying him money I wrote “well I guess I shouldn’t tell you what she did or I might get into trouble.” They later awoke in bed together.

     The teacher in the story later killed the assassin when she realized the child was still alive and attempted to do the job herself. My teacher...


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Becoming the Devil They Fear to be released in late January/early February!